i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
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