I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
Randomize
