Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
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