...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
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