I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Randomize