Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Randomize
