Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
Randomize
