Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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