Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
