Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
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