I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Randomize
