I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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