why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
Holy sore nipples Batman
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Randomize
