I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
A+ Viking dick
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize