what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
