Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
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