Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
