This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
