You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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