And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
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Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
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