it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
You're a waste of cheezeits
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Randomize