If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
