the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
Randomize
