She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
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