dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize
