Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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