I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
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