dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
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