already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
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