How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
