Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
