That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
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