Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
Randomize
