every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
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