i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
she pinky promised me she was 18
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
Randomize
