So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Randomize
