her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Randomize
