I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
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