Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
Randomize
