Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize
