...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Randomize
