i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Randomize
