the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
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