if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Randomize
