Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
Randomize