maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
Randomize
