You work out of a Hotel?
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
