He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
Randomize