i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
Randomize
