I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
