Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
Randomize