South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Randomize
