What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
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