So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
Randomize
