I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
Also, beer. Big fan.
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
A+ Viking dick
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
Randomize
