so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize