arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
