Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
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