Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
Randomize
